Your New Years Resolution is designed to fail
It’s the second of February. Can you even remember what new years resolution you made? Probably not, and you know what, that’s OK. We seem to attach a strange magic to the start of a new year, like the passing of the clock to the 01/01/ 00:00 mark has some sort of special power over us and our ability to take on new challenges. “Err, I think i’ll eat better this year, stop smoking, get a better job, lose weight, oh and while i’m there i’ll get that 6 pack I’ve always wanted.” It’s a default set of things that we think we need to do in order to make an improvement in our lives. Come January 3rd the next box of the chocolates are being cracked open and you are feeding yourself the last of the strategically picked Heroes. Trying to work out the ones we like the best and who around has favourites, it’s a tactical game no matter how you look at it. “It’s OK, i’ll start on Monday”.
Realistically however starting a new habit is something you are much more likely to achieve if you feel it’s actually going to add something to your life and not something you’ve taken from the set of generic resolutions. There is nothing special about the start of a new year, or even a new week. The chances are if you are putting off things till next Monday, or the start of the month, it’s probably not as important to you as you might think.
The problem with New Years resolutions in particular is the expectation that you will fail, it’s ingrained in us that we make these vague promises to ourselves that this is going to be “our year” but deep down we know it won’t happen. I’m no expert, but if you are expecting yourself to fail you kind of have to wonder what the point is in the first place.
So here’s my take on this. You’ve failed your New Years Resolution (and if you haven’t, well done!). Take a step back, carve out a small section of time and have a think about the things you actually want to do differently – and I mean really want to do. Take your goal and cut it down in size. You may think to yourself “I can make it to the gym 3 times a week, no problem” – but you know what, in a particularly busy week or a stressful week or even a lazy week, are you going to commit to that? Maybe not. What about 2 days a week? 1? Yes, I can definitely get to the gym once a week. Now you’ve got a more realistic and manageable goal, you’ve got much more chance of actually making it stick. By the end of the year you’ve probably put in 52 more workouts than you would have if you’d convinced yourself you would go 3 times a week.
Consistency is key in building any new habit or positive change, start small and gain momentum, but always keep in mind why you are doing this in the first place. Are you doing this for yourself? Or is it because you think you have some sort of vague expectation by society to do something different? Quite frankly, 99.99% of the population couldn’t care less what your goals are. Do it for yourself and the people who are close to you and you are much more likely to succeed. Write down your goals, and then you can hold yourself accountable to them.
For me, I’ve decided to read more books – It’s something I used to do as a kid, but in this day and age of technology I’ve found it much less important. I’ve not committed to anything silly like reading a whole book each week because I know i’d fail at that. “Reading more books” for me is vague enough that I’ve actually not put pressure on myself to actually do something just for the numbers. As it happens I’ve made it through 1.5 books this year, which is probably 1.5 books more than I did in 2017 and 2018 combined.
